House!

We have a house! Originally, we kept building elaborate shade structures for Nowhere, however it always rained, and everything got wet. After extensive research we concluded that the best thing to provide shelter from the rain, sun and wind was a house, which probably explains why everybody lives in them. So, we built a house and tried to use all recyclable elements in doing so. The roof is made of real-estate signs ethically harvested in North London. The house has been used since 2011 and is still yet to fall down and injure the inhabitants, although there is always hope!

We have designed the interior to look like your grandmother's house, any décor gifts are welcome. It is called "Pervy Whims".

Food

We have a fully equipped kitchen in a car-port sized marquee. We also have a freezer. We do breakfast/brunch as a self-serve, and an evening meal.

We recognise that most people do not come to any burn event to spend ages slicing vegetables. Hence all meals are very easy to make while providing the correct nutrtion.

There are usually lefovers for lunch the next day.

People in the camp

We have been coming to Nowhere since 2009, mostly from the UK, having run a camp at Burning Man since 1846. So a bit jaded whilst also being fun! There are a disproportionate number of homosexual men in the camp but we're having that dealt with BY EXPERTS. Because we are long-term burners we have learned from a lot of mistakes and generally have anything working drama-free (famous last words..)! We need young people to join the camp as they bring energy and fun!

Event: Penis Appreciation Hour

Now in its 45th year. You show us your penis, we appreciate it! All penises are appreciated equally. You get a badge!! If you do not have a penis you can make one, or you can get a badge-for-a-vadge! Cocktails after on the patio.

Sat 6pm

Events: Coffee and Classics

Proper coffee and teas and soothing classical music to start your day and provide respite from that relentless dance music! Bring your cup. Pastries/biscuits gifts very welcome! Any musicians also welcome - although has to be classical, not bongos!

Tue-Sun 10-12

Event: Shot in the dark

The new night coffee bar from coffee masters at Camp Babycham! Whether your night is starting up or winding down, make it better with proper coffee in a relaxed space. It’s just the pickup you need!

Tues night through to Sat night.

Event: Spanish Grandmother Hour

Back by popular demand! Connect with your inner Spanish Grandmother and disapprove of everything. Demand to know why people aren't married yet. All grandmothers are called "Maria" and their (ex) husbands, sons and grandsons are all called "Julio". Music is provided by Julio (Iglesias). Bring terrible grandmother cake. Make sure it's been sat on.

Sun 6pm

Event: Poppadom Pandemonium

Yes we're doing it, Poppadoms for everyone! We've got the sauce and spice things to go with them too. Come and realign your chutneys! Poppadoms are the best part of an Indian meal, let's face it, you can gorge on these and not have to worry about leaving room for the rest of it.

Friday 6pm

Event: Prude Hour

Say no to all this fiddly-widdly nonsense and abandonment of morality. Get into your too-tight corset and grab a fan! Come to Lady Constance-Cox's prude hour where you can faint at the sight of ankles. Watch out for the prude spoon!

Thursday 6pm.